“Progress is rarely a straight line. There are always bumps in the road, but you can make the choice to keep looking ahead.” Kara Goucher

9th Feb – Days to go on 100 days dry: 62. Days until the Dartmoor Way: 95

It had to happen. Whilst I have only been on this journey for 5 short weeks, I am a bit surprised that this hasn’t happened sooner.

The run last night ended with me fighting for breath 3 minutes into my last 5 minute interval and I stopped 2 minutes early. I felt so disappointed with myself. I know how it came about, I pushed the pace too hard on the middle 3 minute stint and left myself too little to finish with. It is the first time this has happened to me and I got home feeling despondent after a run for the first time. Even the post exercise chocolate milk tasted different.

Talking to a good friend this morning however has brought me out of this self flagellating funk and brought me to my senses in short order. She asked how far I had actually gone, (3.75km). Is that longer than you have before? (Yes). What was your total running interval time? (14 minutes.) Is that the longest you’ve run in this program so far? (Yes).  Can you get over yourself and celebrate that? (I really should shouldn’t I?)

And she’s right, there is so much to take away from this. Whilst the prospect of running for 3 minutes filled me with dread at the beginning of this process, now it was the warm up for a 5 minute run. Which will in turn become a warm up for something longer.

I could have slowed down to a shambling jog and allowed myself to recover, but I didn’t. I think I became hugely self-conscious of my size and shape as I ran, and I didn’t help myself by making comparisons to other runners that were overtaking me as I went. So, instead of adapting and recovering, I pushed and failed. This is my key takeaway; not to let external irrelevance colour my thought process. I am not yet at the stage where external comparisons should cross my brain pan. My motivation needs to be wholly internal for now.

So, suitably bolstered, this is the plan of action.

1. Repeat this run, taking into consideration the pacing and finish before moving onto the next phase. I am going to do that this evening
2. Remember what John Lydgate said about comparisons
3. Enjoy the little wins as they occur and not give myself too much of a hard time
4. Rekindle my appreciation of chocolate milk as an after-run treat

I’ll let you know how I get on.

“Odyous of olde been comparisonis, And of comparisonis engendyrd is haterede.” John Lydgate, Debate between horse, goose and sheep, ca. 1440